An aspect of my life here in Korea that I tend to overlook but am so, so, SO GRATEFUL for is church. I am so blessed by my ward, just over and over again. I go to a ward in Busan, about an hour-and-a-half by bus and about 25 minutes by car from where I live. I took the bus the first Sunday I attended but since then I've been given a ride every week by my amazing Korean family here: my beautiful Kim sisters, μΈμ(Se-won) and μΈν(Se-hyun) π I'll talk about my fabulous adventures with them later, but first, a little more about my ward.
Fortunately, my ward has a resident translator (rare, right?!) because there is a Vietnamese couple in our ward who speak English, but not Korean (although they are learning). Translator-dude's name is Wyatt, an American who served a mission here in South Korea a while back and (I think) recently finished up grad school here. The Vietnamese guy's name is Vantu (spelling?) and he and his family joined the church a couple years ago. I think they also came here for his grad school and subsequent work. Anyway, so when I first came to church, people immediately ushered me over to Wyatt (because that's what people here do, connect you with other foreigners ASAP haha) and then I was introduced to μΈν because she lived and studied in the States. She introduced me to Bishop and translated for me when he sat down to get to know me and get my church info. Bishop is
so funny (he reminds me a lot of Bishop Gardner from 29 Palms), he's definitely the father of the ward. My ward also has a YSA Sunday school class (again, rare!) and I've met a few other girls in that class who I really enjoy, νμ (Hye-won) and νλ¦Ό (Ha-rim), who both generously translate for me in Sunday school and Relief Society. I've since learned that the majority of the guys (and a few of the other gals) in the class also speak English because of serving missions or studying abroad. It's funny because when I learned that a lot of them speak English, I was like, "Whhaaaaaa?! This whole time...?" and they just shrug their shoulders like, "Yeah. And" π€¦ but don't end up talking to me in English!
I'm learning that there are actually a lot of people who
do speak English, both at church and at work, but you'll never know it unless you end up all alone with that person
and the situation calls for it
and you try to speak to them. People here are crazy shy and self-conscious about their English-speaking. I had heard this, both from friends who taught abroad and in TESOL classes, but it was still a surprise and different than what I was expecting. This also has brought to my own attention my own insecurities. Where to begin...? Okay, so if you know me, you know that I can be pretty chatty (is that an understatement?). In recent years I have thought less of myself as a crazy-talkative person, unless I'm with family or close friends and the situation calls for it, but living here one of the things I find myself missing the most is the simple ability to strike up conversation with a stranger at the store or on the subway. That's definitely not something I thought of as a thing I did, I mean, that's something my mom and grandma do, not
me, right? π
Wrong. Oh, how I miss randomly talking to people and connecting with people! Definitely not something I expected.
Okay, so what does that have to do with me being insecure? Well, I've realized that I hesitate to speak English (outside of work) like
ever because I feel like (hello?!) you're in a different country with a different language, you need to speak their language ...but... I can't, yet ...so... I just stay quiet. I feel super self-conscious about being a foreigner and speaking my language. Even though, in reality, existing power-structures are totally in my favor and I am a super privileged foreigner (because I am white, American, have an education, and have a well-respected job). Aka: out of the foreigner population, I recognize that when it comes down to it, I'm pretty well-liked given our prejudiced world. Anyway, I think this insecurity about my language comes from my American culturalization. In America, even though we don't have an "official" national language, I grew up hearing that "if immigrants are going to come to our country, they better learn our language." That's a thing, right? Not just me? So, since I'm the immigrant in another country and I
don't know the language nearly enough, and I don't want to offend someone using my language, I'll just keep quiet. This is totally unrealistic thinking, no one has ever told me this (in fact, I've been told the opposite - to just speak English because most people know it), I know this, but that's just how I feel about it and I'm trying to break that mindset. Realistically, outside of work, I try to prepare myself to use Korean for different situations I go into (like shopping, ordering food, at the post office, using the taxi, etc.) and Korean people end up using English with me! So why do I hesitate to use English? (A) because I'm trying to learn Korean, and (B) because I'm a guest in another country and want to be polite, I don't want to just assume people will accommodate me and speak my language. The burden of communication is carried by all participants in a conversation, not just the non-English speakers (which, sadly, I feel the opposite has become the thinking in American culture, and a lot of the world as English expands as an international language).
Well, that took an unexpected turn. Sorry-not-sorry for the rant. I mean, that's what you signed up for when you decided to read my blog, right? π To wrap things up: I have found that when I have confidence and approach people, even in English, it pays off and nobody judges me for using English so I just need to get over it and be more confident.
Anyway, church is good. Now let me tell you about my amazing Kim Unnies (if you are a girl, unnie, μΈλ, means big sister in Korean). So I met μΈν first and sat with her my first Sunday at church. She is super outgoing and so kind and just fun! She seems to always be on the go, which makes sense because she has a toddler, λμ΄. μΈν then introduced me to her sister, μΈμ, who is also a lot of fun and also has a baby, μ μ . On that very first Sunday, μΈμ and her husband offered to give me a ride to church each week (they live about an 8 minute drive from me). Since then, μΈνμΈλ and μΈμμΈλ have basically adopted me and I just freakin love them! Not only have they helped me so much (like moving my "TV" from work to my apartment or helping me set up my cell phone plan) but they've really become my family away from family here. I wander around stores with them just for fun, we go out to eat, I hang out at μΈμ's apartment on Sundays, they feed me, we talk a about all the things. They feel like home and I am so grateful for them π Oh! Actually, Rachel, I've decided that μΈμ is a lot like you. Her and her husband actually remind me so much of you and Matthew π I just love it!
So far, I've decided that μΌκ²Ήμ΄ is my favorite Korean food, and it was μΈνμΈλ and μΈμμΈλ that introduced me to it. Oh my goodness, it's so delicious! (I've also since been to this restaurant like 5 or 6 other times, no shame hahaha but I can cook it all by myself like a pro!):
I also went to my first λ
Έλλ°© ("singing room") in Korea with them. So much fun!
Oh my goodness, and one time when we went to a buffet for dinner, λμ΄ found herself a boyfriend π so cute!
Needless to say, I have a lot of fun with these two beautiful sisters I've gained here in Korea ππ
Back to church: a week-or-so ago, Bishop, along with Wyatt and the executive secretary, came over to bless my apartment and brought so much delicious food - ALL FOR ME! It lasted me like 2 whole weeks (actually, i didn't even finish the whole loaf of bread before it went bad - shhhh, don't tell on me, Koreans take their food very seriously! which makes sense because it's delicious). Anyway, he is the sweetest.
I am so blessed by my ward. The Lord knew where I needed to be and I am grateful for His hand in my life. I do have to admit that this last Sunday I did struggle a bit (the first time since being here so that's awesome, right?). Last Sunday was the first time I felt overwhelmed by the language barrier at church. Which is crazy ironic since I have so many people there able to translate for me, something that many foreigners don't have available to them. Last week, some of the people who usually translate for me during Sunday school were gone and I could tell the teacher felt worried that I wouldn't understand - something I am learning is just how kind and out of their way a lot of people here go for you to be sure that you understand what it going on (just another reason I shouldn't be so insecure about using English/not knowing Korean fast enough) - but I reassured her that it was all good and I'd "learn through the Spirit" π
And honestly, I was fine because I like just listening and practicing picking up on words that I recognize. So class was all good but I ended up feeling overwhelmed after class when I ran into someone who needed to talk to me. She didn't speak English, my church-specific Korean sucks, and there was no one around to translate. *sigh* Usually I can make do with Papago (a translation app) but when it comes to church words (like ministering, relief society, church titles, etc.), translations are never correct so we were just both confused. Then, she asked her elementary school son to try to help (since they learn English in school, and most kids are actually pretty good) but again, with church words it's a different story. Anyway, we exchanged information, I gathered that she was assigned to
minister to me. But after that I just felt so overwhelmed and just the weight of how much I really have to rely on other people, something difficult and new to accept because I
really value my independence and self-reliance. It was humbling to say the least. It also made me realize the small sphere of contexts in which I have acquired vocabulary in Korean. At work, the store, and public transportation, I feel like I've got the basics down for simple things that I need to communicate (with less and less Papago use) but at church and not on those topics I am completely out of my depth in Korean ππ
That being said, the day turned around and I had dinner with μΈμ and her family. Dinner was delicious (if you've never had ramyun with peanut butter mixed in, you're missing out - try it!) and conversation was really good, as always. And then this week I had so many language successes and learned a lot of new words so, taking the bad with the good, feeling ever grateful for the Lord being aware of my needs, and constantly feeling blessed by tender mercies. Like having adorable little kids around that call me "λ² μΉ΄μ΄λͺ¨"("Bekah i-mo," "i-mo" means "aunt"), who don't seem to mind too much that I'm a foreigner, and fall asleep holding me finger on the way home from church:
μλ
!
Bekah
